The “YOU” factor – Lead change & Be Happy
Couple of days ago, I was flipping the pages of various books at the Landmark book stores in chennai when I chanced upon a “Serenity prayer”. Most often when I browse the pages in this manner, words check in and check out from my mind but this one got registered and said I will never leave. Here’s how it goes:
God, I pray to you to grant me
the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change
courage to change the
the things I can
wisdom to know the difference
between the two.
Easier said than done I agree. Let me borrow an example from Stephen Covey’s 90-10 principle of life to talk more about this;
You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffe on to your business shirt. You can’t change what just happened coz it’s beyond your control. What happens next is determined by;
Emotional Reaction: you curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize that you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.rWhen you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter. Why all this and why such a bad day? Is it because of the Coffee, your daughter, wife, traffic or YOU? – “You” know the answer.
(or)
Responsive action – ideally what could have and what should have happened;
coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say: “It’s okay, honey, you just need to be More careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early a cheerfully greet the staff. Scene starts the same in both cases, ends totally different – See the difference?
You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life. The other 90% was determined by your emotional reaction (or) Responsive action.
Now, go back to the prayer, read it again. I recommend that you in fact chant it everyday until you discover the secret formula for happiness.
